Author: Mark Manson
File Size: 879 KB
Print Length: 212 pages
Publisher: Harper (September 13, 2016)
Publication Date: September 13, 2016
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
#1 New York Times Bestseller
Over 1 million copies sold
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—”not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about an experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
There are a dozen of topics Mark goes through in this book. Some of the main themes are these:
(1) Choosing what to care about; focusing on the things/problems that are actually meaningful/important (= “giving a f*** about the right things”)
(2) Learning to be fine with some negative things; always aiming for positivity isn’t practical, and is stressful in itself
(3) Taking responsibility of your own life; it’s good for your self-esteem not to keep blaming the circumstances for your problems
(4) Understanding the importance of honesty and boundaries, especially in relationships
(5) Identity; it might a good idea not to commit strongly to any special identity such as “an undiscovered genius”, because then any challenges will make you fear the potential loss of that identity you’ve clinged to.
(6) Motivation; how to improve it by accepting failure and taking action
(7) Death; how learning to be more comfortable with one’s own mortality can make it easier to live.
The first 20% of this book were a little bit boring to read, but after that, the experience was very absorbing. Just like Manson’s previous book (Models), I will give this one five stars.
(BTW this book wasn’t as humorous as I expected. It was much more a serious than a funny book to read. The final chapters, discussing the acceptance of death, made me actually a little bit tense and distressed.)